IMG_5591Some time ago a lady friend came to me in tears telling me of how her marriage was a mistake. In shock I asked why because she seemed happy with three kids. After much discussion I asked if her husband ever exhibited the habits she was complaining about while they were dating and courting and she said yes. After saying yes then her eyes lit up. In trying to defend her wrong decision she said, “How many years later now? A father of three children? He shouldn’t still be drinking, smoking and womanising. There is no day that he doesn’t come home very late. Why should he still be doing that? Marriage should have made him responsible”.

Apparently she went into the relationship assuming her husband would changed after marriage. She said to me, “Sir I prayed, I fasted, I made sure he attended church regularly, I bought him books to read, I did everything I could. I wish I had listened to that part of me that wasn’t comfortable about his habits. All he does is cause me pain”.

Just like this lady, many have and are still hoping their spouse will change. One thing you must know is that you cannot change anyone. And marriage does not change people. It does not change a sinner into a saint or a saint into a sinner, except they make up their minds to work at changing.

As a single, if there are things you see in someone you want to be with that you are not comfortable with and can’t tolerate, you should either accept them for who they are or walk away. If you decide to stay, be sure you can live with it for the rest of your life. But you will be disappointed if you plan to go into a dating/courtship/marriage relationship with the hope that they’ll change. You are not God. You cannot change anyone. This is where you need your thinking mind and not your feeling heart.

You are the next big thing. Make it happen!

About Sola and Chris Chukwunyere

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5 Thoughts on “You Cannot Change Your Spouse

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